The holiday season can elicit lots of notions about what you should be doing, and giving. There are even cautionary tales of how not to be—think Ebenezer Scrooge or the Grinch! In the face of these external pressures, it can be helpful to focus on your own preferences and expectations. Reflect on what you bring to the party yourself. Perhaps your presence, clarity, and joy can be a gift to others, and yourself!
A unique gift
Physical gifts are a familiar part of the holiday season. Another approach is the gift of an experience or service. You can take this a step further by considering what you need or want. Is there a way to fill up your own cup, to show yourself the same care you show others? This can support your sustainability. Friends, family, and colleagues will probably notice and benefit from your deeper presence.
Reflections
Begin by taking some focused breaths and observing your current experience, such as:
- degree of present-focus (versus past or future focused)
- mood
- thought patterns
- degree of embodiment (the sense of being in your physical body)
- physical health
- attitude toward the holiday season
Now ’s the time to ask: “How am I right now? Is this how I want to be? And is it sustainable?”
Inventory
Now that you’ve checked in with yourself, it’s time to focus on what you might adjust to optimize your sense of well-being. Here are some areas to explore:
- Brainstorm your idea of a perfect holiday season and see how much of this might be possible.
- Evaluate your priorities―are some things getting too much attention? Are other things getting missed?
- Explore back-up plans for situations that may be difficult, like handling awkward family members or struggling to carve out time to recharge.
Boundaries
Identifying your preferences is a great start. Frequently, it’s related to boundary quandaries. Effective boundaries include the following:
- Identify, to yourself and to others, what you want and don’t want.
- Explore implications, alternatives, and possible alignment if another person is involved.
- Aim to support your own boundary while respecting others.
Impact
Think about the people and organizations you come into contact with during the holiday season and consider how you want to show up. The more present and balanced you are, the more positive the experience likely is for others.
But, have some space for yourself and others to show up in less than your best―we all succumb to stress, physical illness, and distractions at times. Then our inner Grinch pops out! Just notice and then recalibrate. It’s possible to start over, beginning by taking a few conscious breaths.
Now that you’re aiming for a sustainable you, focus on some simple doable steps, and repeat. Celebrate your unique presence in the world, just as you celebrate those around you. Remember that both Scrooge and the Grinch turned out to be very lovable. They just needed to dig deeper and focus on what matters!
By Carole Ames