When you were younger, you likely had more friends than you knew what to do with. Through school, sports, and clubs, you connected with people who shared your interests. It was easy—just show up.
As life became more complex with careers, partners, kids, and more, you probably found yourself with just one or two close friends and rarely see them in person. Does it matter? Your mental and physical health may depend on those friendships.
Benefits with friends
Social connection serves as a buffer against stress, depression, and other mental health issues, correlating with a greater likelihood of seeking help.
Thirty years ago, 55 percent of men had at least six close friends, but today, only about 27 percent report having that many, with 15 percent having no close friendships.
When men do have friends, how do they “hang”?
The American Journal of Men’s Health identifies three distinct patterns:
- Relationships with men are often “instrumental,” centered on shared activities, while those with women involve more personal sharing.
- Men typically find it challenging to confide in other men, often attributing emotional expression to femininity, which is often seen as undesirable in male groups.
- Many men take pride in being “independent” and reject the need for social support, preferring to handle difficulties alone.
Social connection and health
Strong social connections can insulate against loneliness, anxiety, and depression. They can also help maintain a healthy BMI, improve blood sugar control, and enhance cancer-fighting odds.
Tim Geromini, nutrition and strength coach, states, “If you spend time with people who are physically active, you’re more likely to be fit. Social connectedness with the right people will positively impact your mental wellness and physical health.”
Partner power
If this resonates with someone you know, consider your role in empowering your partner. The “independent guy” might not ask for help even when he needs it.
With connection benefiting health, consider this your green light. Here are a few tips from Geromini:
Offer gentle encouragement
Approach the topic with empathy and encourage open conversations about their social concerns.
Lead by example
Demonstrate the positive impact of social connections by actively engaging in your own social life, inspiring your partner to follow suit.
Identify shared interests
Participate in social activities together, like local classes or events you both enjoy.
Support networking
Accompany your partner to social or networking events, offering emotional support and encouragement.
Act as a resource
Help find resources and communities relevant to your partner’s interests, such as local groups and online communities.
Encourage gradual exposure
Promote small steps in building connections through casual gatherings or small group outings.
Express unconditional support
Maintain a nonjudgmental approach and assure your partner of your support.
By Brendan Rofe, BA, DipA
